im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
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