too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
