just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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