the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize