In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
