2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
