it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
