Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Randomize
