Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize