im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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