Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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