2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
do herpes really smell.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's blow job season.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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