YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
