Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize