the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
