no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Someone signed my nipple.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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