Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
