Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): "You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB http://tfl.nu/8qh8
  Replies (4) Good night (1137) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore. http://tfl.nu/ktqn
  Replies (8) Good night (2207) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment. http://tfl.nu/sp0b
  Replies (20) Good night (3892) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just found out I have a small penis.

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I just found out I have a small penis. (781): Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/6gqe
  Replies (23) Good night (729) Bad night (5501)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit http://tfl.nu/61qr
  Replies (13) Good night (6844) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me. http://tfl.nu/jsip
  Replies (11) Good night (925) Bad night (2863)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are. http://tfl.nu/wnvk
  Replies (8) Good night (1075) Bad night (4397)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (979): Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again http://tfl.nu/ae74
  Replies (5) Good night (2948) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere http://tfl.nu/0hmj
  Replies (38) Good night (4368) Bad night (4618)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year. http://tfl.nu/zp0f
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks . http://tfl.nu/kxjn
  Replies (1) Good night (523) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night" http://tfl.nu/00ak
  Replies (3) Good night (656) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night? http://tfl.nu/hytr
  Replies (3) Good night (577) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around http://tfl.nu/5sia
  Replies (1) Good night (473) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up. http://tfl.nu/8mpv
  Replies (1) Good night (213) Bad night (640)

Randomize