I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
