I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
