Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.