Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.