I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight