and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
