I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
