I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
