doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
