youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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