The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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