Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize