I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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