I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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