we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
