you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
