would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
