I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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