Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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