I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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