When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize