so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
