Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
