he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
