last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
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And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
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Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.