i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped