Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes