Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.