I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels