plz talk dirty to me
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
