The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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