He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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