Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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