and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
