All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She bit a glass in half.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
