hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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