Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
