Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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