he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
