You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
