I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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