I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
