I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
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Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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