You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
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during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
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this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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