Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
