If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
