Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
