hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
