honey bunches of taint.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
