maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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