so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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