Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Randomize
